The Naked Truth
I want to pour my heart out and tell the world how I feel and how I have been feeling for many years. Let us start here- for a person who is overweight, obese, chubby or fluffy, even the simplest of things and daily tasks are not easy. For example every move I make is gaged towards Comfort, Possibility and Strength. The comfort comes in if I am comfortable in my clothes or where I am sitting or in my own skin. The possibility comes in with, will I be able to walk here, climb this, sit here or make it through the rest of this situation where I am completely vulnerable. Every singe move I make there is a possibility to either succeed- yeah I fit in this spot, did not break that chair or something else. Or to fail, darn it too tight and now I am totally embarrassed and need to move and I have gone from possibility to failure to complete uncomfortable. And then comes strength. This is a huge one. Every day it takes massive amount of strength from waking up to pushing my body to places it has not been in a long time. To the strength that it takes emotionally to be in a world that is so vain and critical that you become an u>invisible target for people to look at, shun, judge and be down right cruel. People who have never had to deal with a weight issue have absolutely no idea the power it takes to face this kind of unspoken ridicule daily and keep going and keep smiling. People believe that the overweight world of saddened lost souls are lazy, only eat all day and do nothing except watch TV. Wrong! We use more energy and willpower everyday day just to do the simplest of tasks. Example tying your shoes this is not an easy task but we do it. Walking , again not easy but we do it while we are carrying an extra hundred pounds or more. Our lives are not easy by any means and we are not lazy. We are tired and we are sad. We are sad because instead of people looking at us and seeing our strength and the many wonderful things we have to offer, people look thru us to a place of contempt and judgement. Instead of smiling and offering a hand of hope or friendship, we are instead wounded with the daggers of anger. So when a stranger looks at us like this or a friend or even a family member your worth starts to diminish even more. And building yourself up seems nearly impossible. But you try each and every day in the hopes that one day it will stick. Not just for ourselves but for those sad souls who judge, who feel like their lives and who they are are so perfect that they can dole out their unwarranted opinions to others . So having lived in this world for far too long and being on a journey towards freedom of all this pain, my greatest hope is that I will not become one of those whom have caused me anguish but instead be that person, the one we are all looking for, who gives validation, friendship and a warm and loving heart.