One Year Anniversary (Surgeversary)
Today is my one year anniversary of my surgery, also called your “Surgiversary.” I cannot believe that it has been an entire year, 365 days since I put my life in the hands of the doctors and nurses and awaited what was on the other side. The side that is free of all the sadness and disappointment and anger. As I was lying there in the hospital waiting for my surgery I made a plan for what I wanted my life to be like once I was out of the operation. I wanted to let go of all of those things that were holding me back and open myself up to all that was to come my way. Looking back to that day I am so grateful and thankful for all that I have been given. Each new day I get to experience a new part of myself and all the new things that I see in other people. I spent almost 40 years of my life with blinders on. I could only see and worry about what was going on for me, my problems, my sadness, my excuses, my world. And now that I have had my surgery, lost a large amount of weight and found the “real me” my blinders have been removed. And for the first time in forever I see everything and everyone that I have been missing. I do not look back with regrets, only gratitude for all the things that I can appreciate now, especially that people, including myself. I am after all a stranger from who I once was. I am still learning who I am. One thing I know for sure is that I am a person who really appreciates this new wonderful life that I have been given. I feel like I have gotten a new body, brain and heart. A new body because I am now able to do many things that I was not able to before such as cross my legs, run and play with my children and wear clothes that are much, much, MUCH smaller than the ones that I used to wear. A new brain because the way that I think now is so different from the way that I once did. I am alert, positive and always waiting to learning anything new. And a new heart because my heart used to carry around a lot of guilt, anger and fear and now it carries around confidence, happiness, excitement and a whole heck of a lot of love.
When I first started this journey to weight loss through surgery what I had wanted for myself was to reach my goal within a year. I have not yet reached my goal and you know what that is actually okay with me. It is only a number on the scale and it does not represent all the changes that I have gone through physically and emotionally. If my goal was determined by that I would already be at the end of this journey. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be this happy and feel this good. I am lighter, more energetic, happier and I have truly become my best self. So even if that scale has not yet reached my goal number I am okay. Believing that a certain number on a scale would make me feel content is a recipe for disaster. I am more than good with where I am now and only look to tomorrow for what I can do next and what I can learn next not what number the scale says. I am already successful in my eyes and that is all that matters.
I know I have said it many of my blogs that I have written before but this journey for me that started out about losing weight has really given me so much more than that. I have been given a whole new life. I have lost the weight and gained the life that I never thought possible. I only wish that I could have told myself at the beginning of this how incredible it will be when you get here. That is why I continue to share my story because I want those people that are in their dark place to know just how awesome it is here. The doctors appointments, the specialists, the therapy, the blood work, the surgery, the liquid diet, the mushy food diet, the self administered needles and the scars have all been worth everything that I have gained. I will never regret my decision to have this surgery and I would highly encourage anyone else who wants it to just do it. One day you will be where I am encouraging many more to do just that. Take a chance on you and your new life.
Within this year too I have written a book all about my experience. I included my entire journey starting just before I went to meet my surgeon for the first time. I also added all of my blogs going back to two years right up until a few months ago. I put my heart and my soul into my book. It is very raw, open and vulnerable and I am extremely proud of it. My wish is that anyone who needs validation, encouragement or just a good old laugh will enjoy my book. It is so close to being ready for the world to see and I cannot wait.
Happy One Year Anniversary to me and Thank you. Thank you to everyone that has been supportive and encouraging to me on this journey. My husband, my children, my family and friends. And especially to everyone that helped me make my dreams of becoming an author my ACTUAL REALITY. I love you all and I cannot wait for what comes next.