I’m so excited…

Up by 6am and out of the house by 7am. Off to pick up my Dad for the big day. Drive all the way to Victoria with only three pee stops. We are doing this. Get to the doctors office and surprise of all surprises we must wait. It’s one of the first appointments so it won’t be that long right? Wrong! We wait for almost two hours to see the man, Doctor that holds my future in his hands. Waiting rooms are great. The are always either way too hot or way too cold. They are small and over crowded with people who are waiting and anxious just like me. Waiting rooms have all different characters in them. The chatty kathy’s, the grumpy Gus’ and the inpatient patients. My Dad and I walk in and find the most comfortable seats and we of course end up by Captain of all Chatty Kathy’s, this time a Chatty Charlie. This gentleman talked so much for a straight hour and a half he was actually bubbling at the mouth. There was nothing we did not know about this man and his travels around the world with the Army and as a sailboat chef. You know when you are listening to someone so much and you are waiting for that one second they may actually take a breathe so you can say something. You sort of feel like you are in a race waiting for the next guy to bring the Baton and he never does. You actually start to dose off a little. I know he was just lonely and enjoyed talking to someone. Any other time I would have loved it. But when you are waiting for the news of your lifetime it sure makes time drag on like crazy. They finally call my name and off to be weighed I go. I said to the nurse. I am actually looking forward to being weighed today because I was happy my numbers will have gone down and not up. The doctor comes in to see me, with my Dad and he says oh, I see you’ve lost some weight, great. Tell me what you are doing. Proudly I share what I have been doing. In just those few seconds I feel how he is talking to me differently. With more respect this time. That I had put in the work and not just given him excuses as to why I couldn’t do it. After a lot of talking about the pros and cons of the surgery and the differences between the surgeries he said to me. “Ok, Alicia it is up to you now. You can continue losing weight on your own or you can have the surgery. This is your choice. But remember the surgery is only a tool in weightloss. It is not the solution.” I love his honesty. He tells you point blank what the truth is . So I thought about it for a millisecond and I said I want the surgery. I don’t know if I answered that quickly because I felt like it was the reward I wanted for my hard work, or that I was able to choose for myself and not have him say no. All I know is that it was what I was working towards and I still wanted to hold onto it. Now by the time I get the surgery, which could be a year or more I may have changed my mind. But for right now I am darn happy I get to have it. I was told that there were 30 people ahead of me on the list and it could be anywhere from 6 months to over a year. Just depends on how many surgeries he does. So now I continue to wait. And that’s ok. I want to keep working on what I am doing and just getting closer and closer to my goal. I have something to keep moving forward to now, the rest of my life. Being at his office yesterday felt great because I was moving in the right direction and I was proud of myself that he saw me as more that just another person looking for a fix but as a person putting in the work and wanting to show him I could keep doing it. I am not sure what felt better making him proud or myself proud. Oh heck I say they both felt equally AWESOME!

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