Going up, please!
It’s been quite awhile since my last blog but I feel like now I’ve got something important to say. So let me get started.
I started this process almost 6 months ago and I feel like I’m just getting started but on the other hand that I’ve come so far. In the time that I have not been blogging I’ve been sulking. Life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, people said things in regards to my blog that were negative and made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t do it anymore. But then I stepped back, gave myself a break from it and realized that I need it. I need the process of putting my words, thoughts and feelings out there. Not because I want all positive feedback or because I really even care about what others think about it but because it releases all that is in my head and heart that might be taking up too much room. This whole thing is for me, it’s therapeutic, it’s fun and it’s very worthwhile for me. So naysayers be darned I’m carrying on!
Today I like to blog about “the beginning” yet again. So in all my “processing” time I started and stopped diets, walked a handful of times but never completed what I’ve started. But I’ve reached my breaking point. I can not take it anymore. I can not take the way I feel like a balloon blown up to its capacity and ready to burst at any moment. I don’t like feeling like I’m out of energy before my feet even hit the floor. I don’t like sitting with a chair between my husband and I at the movie theater because I feel squished if I sat right beside him. I hate the chairs at restaurants and especially weddings they freak me out that I could break the chair in front of the whole world just by sitting on it. I don’t like that people 20 years my senior seem to have more energy than me. I hate that everything in my life is affected negatively because of food. I dislike that my body hurts from morning until night. And I know if I don’t do something about it really soon, my heart won’t be able to take it anymore. So that’s it, this is my rock bottom. I’m not saying this as a negative thing, I think of this as my starting line. I go up from here ( but not up in weight). I’ve learned many things down here, especially that I don’t want any of these feelings anymore or ever again. There is nothing left for me in the Abyss only wonderful things and greener pastures on the other side. Time to get some really good use out of my walking shoes. Time to eat more color in my diet. Time to start becoming one with nature and with hard work. I’ve got to quit complaining about the life that I have and where I’m at, if I’m not willing to do the work for the one I want.
So from now on this blog will be a progress report. You will hear of my weight losses, struggles with this and that and strides in areas all around. Lastly I just like to thank those of you out there that read this and are supportive and inspired. I hope to keep doing this for much longer. Maybe not always in the weight-loss category possibly, FITNESS GURU! Who knows it’s a possibility, as is life. So now is my time to take it by the horns and ride this sucker out of the Abyss! Yeehaw!