What I have learned in my 40 years…

Most people have the list of 40 things to do by 40. I decided that my list would be different. My list is 40 things I have learned before I turn forty. I would like to share these things with you. 

1. Confidence can change any insecurity into your greatest asset. If you know who you are and love who you are. 

2. Happiness is a choice that is contagious. Make the right choice, for yourself and for others. 

3. Constructive criticism can teach you something about yourself if you are open to it. 

4. Be a good person from morning until night. Be good, not perfect but good. 

5. Do something that you love daily, a walk, write, paint. If you love it, do it. 

6. Shut off and be still. Take the time to listen to what needs to be heard. 

7. Gratitude be thankful for all that you have and soon you will realize that you are richer than you thought. 

8. Self-care, treat yourself well, care for the parts of you that need it when they need it. 

9. Friendships, be the type of friend that you need. 

10. Relationships, allow each relationship to come and go as they are needed. Sometimes we can grow out of people and that is ok because then we make room for someone new. 

11. Positive attitude, be the kind of person who is happy for a glass, whether the glass is full or empty. Be positive.

12. Enjoy the small moments. There are so many and you wouldn’t want to miss them all. 

13. Laugh, there is nothing better for your soul than a great big belly laugh.

14. Smile. Greet the day with a smile and greet others just the same. Smile when you see your reflection. You are awesome.

15. Eye contact, look people in the eyes and show them you are happy to know them. You will be amazed what a little eye contact can do for your Spirit.

16. Learn something new, a sport, an instrument, a language, anything. There is a world of possibilities out there waiting for you.

17. Admit it when you are wrong. We are never always right and being wrong will teach us to continue to learn.

What I have learned about Parenthood

18. Love your babies with all your heart and don’t hold back. I know it’s scary but it is worth every single moment. I promise.

19. Open up and be vulnerable with your children. Tell them stories about who you were when you were young. They love to know things about their parents before they were parents.

20. Have fun with them. It’s ok to be on the ground and playing with you child like a child.its ok to tell silly jokes and jump in the puddles. These will be their favourite memories of you.

21. Don’t take everything your child says personally. Someone taught me that a long time ago and it is so important. They could be going through something that we don’t know and they want to take it out on us. We are tough and can take it.

22. Do not blame yourself for things that are out of your control. We can’t fix everything and sometimes as parents, we need to learn the lesson of letting it go and learn it quick.

23. Let them grow at their pace and not at yours.

24. Show them how to not tell them how to. Be a good example for them that they can emulate in life.

25. Enjoy every moment with them. It goes way too fast and before you know it they will be out and on their own.

26. Be their safe place to fall. Welcome them home from their hard days with a great big hug and a whole lotta love.

27. Listen to them. Really listen. They have amazing things to say.

28. Be their parent and not their friend.

29.Let them be kids. Don’t rush them to grow up.

30. Respect them. Gotta give it get it.

31. Say you are sorry when you are wrong. In order for a child to learn how to truly be apologetic they have to see it.

This is what I have learned as a wife about marriage…

32. Two hearts have become one but remember you are still your own person.

33. Love your spouse the way you want to be loved.

34. Show them that you love them, every day. Be the wife you’d want to come home to.

35. They are your partner and not your child. Treat them as such.

36. Quality time, make sure to have time with just the tow of you that is quality and not quantity.

37. Allow yourself time alone or with a friend to recharge your batteries. And the same goes for your spouse.

38. Make sure to have physical contact daily, from an arm stroke, to a hug or kiss or even a butt squeeze. This shows love to your spouse more than you know.

39. Be their friend and their spouse. Always have their back 100%. It’s you together against the world. You need one another.

40. Say you are sorry and mean it when you have been wrong.

Bonus lessons…

41. If you are having a fight remember to fight by leaving one another’s dignity intact. Don’t give low blows or say something you will regret.

42. Be your spouse safe place from the world too.

43. Don’t give up. Marriage is hard but worth it and it would suck to give up on something wonderful. 

44. LOVE. Be love, show love and most importantly feel love. 

These are the 44 most important things that I have learned in my almost 40 years. What have you learned?

Saying Goodbye and Fresh Starts

The start of a New Year always has lots of significance for me. I used to use it as a reference to look back at my struggles from the year before. I also used to use it as a reason to continue to beat myself up for failing all year long and having to start fresh on another January 1st. I have decided that this doesn’t work for me anymore. I cannot continue to live in a negative space expecting to get positive results. It never works. Instead I have decided that I need to see everything as a lesson and learn something from my struggles. How many times the lessons need to be learned are completely up to me. And whether I use what I have learned to pass that along or to stay stuck are also up to me. I will continue to live in a place of positive.

Having to say good bye is also something that is a huge part of the New Year for me. Sometimes we need to say goodbye to old relationships that are no longer healthy for you. Sometimes saying goodbye to people that may have passed on or moved on is also a part of looking back on the year gone by. That can be one of the hardest parts. For myself right now I am in the process of trying to say goodbye to my Grandmother. She is on her last bit of time here on earth and it is very hard to wrap my head around it. I am not ready for this yet. I knew it was coming as she is almost 84 years old but she didn’t seem a day over 70 and that is still too young. I don’t want to have to say good bye to her because I am being selfish. I want her to be around for a lot more time. I am just starting to get good at this thing called life and I want her to see my success. I know totally selfish. I will do what is best for her because that is what a good relationship is all about. I will be strong for my mother who will be suffering the loss of her mother. I will stand tall and hold her up when she feels weak and then I will fall into the arms of my family when I get home. I am lucky to have both in my life.
As the New year begins and the old is just a moment in the past how will you use this year ahead? Are you going to repeat the same mistakes or are going to learn from the past? Are you going to keep the people in your life that are no longer good in your life or are you going to make room for new and exciting people yet to come? Are you going to hold onto the people that need to be let go of or are you going to do what is right for them and not be selfish? Some people tend to spend so much time looking backwards or trying to look so far into the future that the moment right here and right now is wasted. Being in the moment is so much more enjoyable than trying to remember, relive or predict what something was or will be. Use this year and your time wisely. I know I will.

As the New year begins and the old is just a moment in the past how will you use this year ahead? Are you going to repeat the same mistakes or are going to learn from the past? Are you going to keep the people in your life that are no longer good in your life or are you going to make room for new and exciting people yet to come? Are you going to hold onto the people that need to be let go of or are you going to do what is right for them and not be selfish? Some people tend to spend so much time looking backwards or trying to look so far into the future that the moment right here and right now is wasted. Being in the moment is so much more enjoyable than trying to remember, relive or predict what something was or will be. Use this year and your time wisely. I know I will.

One Year Anniversary (Surgeversary)

Today is my one year anniversary of my surgery, also called your “Surgiversary.” I cannot believe that it has been an entire year, 365 days since I put my life in the hands of the doctors and nurses and awaited what was on the other side. The side that is free of all the sadness and disappointment and anger. As I was lying there in the hospital waiting for my surgery I made a plan for what I wanted my life to be like once I was out of the operation. I wanted to let go of all of those things that were holding me back and open myself up to all that was to come my way. Looking back to that day I am so grateful and thankful for all that I have been given. Each new day I get to experience a new part of myself and all the new things that I see in other people. I spent almost 40 years of my life with blinders on. I could only see and worry about what was going on for me, my problems, my sadness, my excuses, my world. And now that I have had my surgery, lost a large amount of weight and found the “real me” my blinders have been removed. And for the first time in forever I see everything and everyone that I have been missing. I do not look back with regrets, only gratitude  for all the things that I can appreciate now, especially that people, including myself. I am after all a stranger from  who I once was. I am still learning who I am. One thing I know for sure is that I am a person who really appreciates this new wonderful life that I have been given. I feel like I have gotten a new body, brain and heart. A new body because I am now able to do many things that I was not able to before such as cross my legs, run and play with my children and wear clothes that are much, much, MUCH smaller than the ones that I used to wear. A new brain because the way that I think now is so different from the way that I once did. I am alert, positive and always waiting to learning anything new. And a new heart because my heart used to carry around a lot of guilt, anger and fear and now it carries around confidence, happiness, excitement and a whole heck of a  lot of love.

When I first started this journey to weight loss through surgery what I had wanted for myself was to reach my goal within a year. I have not yet reached my goal and you know what that is actually okay with me. It is only a number on the scale and it does not represent all the changes that I have gone through physically and emotionally. If my goal was determined by that I would already be at the end of this journey. I never in a million years would have thought that I would be this happy and feel this good. I am lighter, more energetic, happier and I have truly become my best self. So even if that scale has not yet reached my goal number I am okay. Believing that a certain number on a scale would make me feel content is a recipe for disaster. I am more than good with where I am now and only look to tomorrow for what I can do next and what I can learn next not what number the scale says. I am already successful in my eyes and that is all that matters.

I know I have said it many of my blogs that I have written before but this journey for me that started out about losing weight has really given me so much more than that. I have been given a whole new life. I have lost the weight and gained the life that I never thought possible. I only wish that I could have told myself at the beginning of this how incredible it will be when you get here. That is why I continue to share my story because I want those people that are in their dark place to know just how awesome it is here. The doctors appointments, the specialists, the therapy, the blood work, the surgery, the liquid diet, the mushy food diet, the self administered needles and the scars have all been worth everything that I have gained. I will never regret my decision to have this surgery and I would highly encourage anyone else who wants it  to just do it. One day you will be where I am encouraging many more to do just that. Take a chance on you and your new life.

Within this year too I have written a book all about my experience. I included my entire journey starting just before I went to meet  my surgeon for the first time. I also added all of my blogs going back to two years right up until a few months ago. I put my heart and my soul into my book. It is very raw, open and vulnerable and I am extremely proud of it. My wish is that anyone who needs validation, encouragement or just a good old laugh will enjoy my book. It is so close to being ready for the world to see and I cannot  wait.

Happy One Year Anniversary to me and Thank you. Thank you to everyone that has been supportive and encouraging to me on this journey. My husband, my children, my family and friends. And especially to everyone that helped me make my dreams of becoming an author my ACTUAL REALITY. I love you all and I cannot wait for what comes next.

If you would have told me…

My life has changed so much in the last few months, sometimes I look around in amazement and wonder if I’m in the middle of a really good dream that I hope no one wakes me up from. If you would have told me that one day I could walk into any store and pick out anything I wanted in a size medium/large I would have said you’re crazy. If you would have told me that one day I would be one of those woman that men actually take the time to “check out” I would have said quit playing. If you would have told me that one day I’d actually be that woman that other woman get angry with because their man actually took the time to check me out, I would have said, where are the hidden camera’s, am I being punked? If you would have told me that one day I would be able to keep up physically with my family playing at the park and swimming etc. I would have said, this is my dream come true. And lastly if you have told me that one day I would wake up from this nightmare that used to be my life and now be able to enjoy every moment and experience as the woman I was meant to be HAPPY, I would have to say Thank You!

I cannot even begin to explain how much my life has changed so I will start with the facts. Fact #1. I used to weigh 321 pounds. Fact #2. I now weigh 189 pounds. Fact #3. I only have 39 pounds to go to reach my goal weight.  Fact #4. I have lost 132 pounds in total. Fact#5. I have lost 70 pounds since the day of my surgery (plus 32 pounds that I lost on my 30 day liquid diet) in 9 months. And the final and most important of all these facts is that I have never been happier. The weight that I have lost is not the reason that I am happy. It is so much more than that. I am happy because this is the life that I have always wanted for myself. I’m happy because I get have experiences that I have never had before. I am happy because I have confidence and it feels awesome. I am happy because my whole world used to be about how others see me and what they think about me and now finally I could care less what anyone thinks about me. You sure waste a lot of time on caring what others think about you and their opinions. Now my time is spent thinking about the things that do matter such as how can I share my joy with others? How can I be a better Mom, wife, daughter, child care provider and person? Not oh I wonder what that stranger thinks about me? Who cares. They don’t matter. The only people that matter are the people  that know you and care about you.

When I think back to what a day in my life used to be it makes me sad and grateful. Sad because it took me so long to realize this is not the life that I deserve. And grateful because of the life I have now. I had to go through those hard experiences and moments to truly appreciate the life I am now blessed enough to call my own.

I feel like I used to be walking around in a costume with a face that looked like me and a body that looked like me but I was never really myself. My costume looked like me but it was heavy, dark, sad and carried tons of lost dreams with it. Now that I have unzipped this costume to reveal the true me I am light, happy and I carry with me my new found desires and hopes for the future.

And so now I need to share even more of my experiences with anyone and everyone out there so I am putting pen to paper and emotions and experiences in chapters and am writing a book. Look for that to be coming.

 

It’s a whole new world

I cannot believe that only a few short months ago I was over 300 pounds, sore every where and faking life. And now I just completed my first ever 5km Foam Fest Run. Who would have thunk it? Not me. Definitely not me! What an amazing experience I had today at the run. I was becoming more and more nervous as the day was getting closer. I had never done anything like this before. I was always the one cheering from the sideline. I wasn’t the one in there doing it with everyone else. I was so nervous and scared in fact that I tried to convince myself that I could not do it. How would I know if I could do it or I could not do it unless I got out there and tried. I had to tell myself that I was no longer the woman who was over 300 pounds. I was now the woman that tried new things and got out there and did it with everyone else.

I was capable and I was most importantly now willing. I was willing to step outside of my comfort zone. I was willing to get down and dirty with the rest of them. I was excited to do my first adventurous run with my husband. We got to share this experience together. I got to show him that I could do things like this now and I could enjoy them. I will say that there were some things that I was worried to try, like the climbing the big nets and walking on the foam in the water. So those things I passed on, this time. I told myself as I watched others, next year I will do all of them. And I will. The scariest part of trying something new is the fear of failing at it. Once you get over the scary part and and push through all the fear goes away and what comes next is pride. You are proud of yourself for doing it even though you were scared and did it anyway. And I did it and now I am so proud of myself. I got to show my husband, my children that I am proud for facing my fears and doing it! Next year the whole family gets to do this together. I can’t wait!

 

It’s not just weight loss

Everyday I continue to learn more about myself on this journey towards my authentic self. As I shed the old me and become closer to who I am I see the world differently and more importantly I see who I am in the world differently. I, as an overweight woman didn’t want to say or do anything wrong. My opinion didn’t matter as I already had so much to make up for that adding opinionated to the mix would have just thrown me over the edge. I tried to people please, even at my own expense. I never wanted to a burden to anyone else- even strangers. Now as I think back to that I ask myself why? Why was someone else more important than  me? Why was someone else’s happiness more important than my own? And I can see that it is worth. I felt that my worth was less than anyone else’s and it was tied strictly to my weight. It seems so backwards now that I think of it. The size of a person shouldn’t weigh the heart of the person. But sadly it does. And it is not just how the world values overweight people but how an overweight person values themselves in the world. My father said to me recently “you’ve put your life on a shelf for so long, I am happy to see that you have finally taken it down and are enjoying life now.” It was the truth. I would just put one foot in front of the other and did the motions of living but never really lived the way I should have been. I never appreciated the life that I had because I was always thinking of the life I wanted. And now that life is finally here. A life where I get to enjoy every moment. A life where my opinions are just as important as anyone else’s. A life where I am just as valuable as anyone else. A life where I am not only putting one foot in front of the other but that I am enjoying each step that I take. My weight held me back in so many ways. It held me back physically of course but it also help me back mentally and emotionally. It was as though I was on auto pilot a computer running my life but not me. As I shed more and more weight I am becoming my own pilot and my life and every move I make is as my own Captain. I am so grateful each and every day. I want to shout it from the rooftops and share it with the world. I want people struggling themselves to know it gets better and it doesn’t have to be so hard. I want the world to enjoy life just as much as I do. I want the world to be just as happy as I am.

I would like to now share a weight loss update. Since my highest weight in December 2014 I am down 112 pounds. Since just before my liquid diet for the surgery I and down 82 pounds and since the day if surgery I am down 50 pounds in four and 1/2 months. I know it is just weight loss but for me it is so much more. For me with each pound lost there is also sadness lost, worthlessness lost, anger lost, frustration lost, guilt lost, embarrassment lost, and uncomfortableness lost. And with each thing that I lose I also gain something back. When sadness is lost, HAPPINESS is gained. When worthlessness is lost, VALUE is gained. When anger is lost, FORGIVENESS is gained. When frustration is lost, CALM is gained. When is guilt is lost,INNOCENCE is gained. When embarrassment is lost, PRIDE AND CONFIDENCE are gained. And when uncomfortableness is lost, COMFORT is gained. It may only be numbers on the scale but for me it is becoming the person I was always meant to be.

I wish I could describe it…

It has been two months or nine weeks and three days since my surgery. I cannot believe how much my life has changed in such a short time. I am now down 30 pounds since my surgery date. I have gotten rid of so many clothes. I have gone from a 3XL to a XL/L depending on the fit. I have gone from a size 24W to a 16/18. It is so crazy. I feel more confident and proud. I take time to look nice, instead of just throwing on what fits. I actually get to choose the style and colour I like now inside of taking what I can get. I have more energy and excitement for life. Physically the things that I have noticed since surgery are the feelings associated with eating. For instance, eating too fast makes me sneeze. I know weird right? It also hurts my stomach and throat if I eat too fast or too much at one time. And it will let you know within seconds that that was one too many bites. I used to live for sugar. The sweeter the better. Now anything too sweet and I cannot stand it. I also used to love  spicy (but not too spicy) food and anything BBQ and now I can major heartburn if I have anything like that. Water, which is a very important part of the weight loss is so hard for me to digest now. It is like liquid cement. And it is not just swallowing it, it is digesting it. It hurts in my stomach and my throat. I have tried all different temperatures to see if I can find something that will work for me, and nothing. I have tried Crystal lite, too sweet. I have tried lemon- not bad. I have to make sure to consume enough water throughout the day, somehow…  It kind of sucks but I will take a bit of discomfort in place of all the great things that are happening any day.

Some of the new things that I am finding with my body that are totally awesome are #1. I can cross my legs, not perfectly but they are crossed. Something I have never been able to do. Very exciting. I can reach my arm around my back and scratch my back. There is so much space between me and the steering wheel I feel like someone should be sitting on my lap. I used to be right up to it with the seat all the way to the back. All chairs are finally comfortable for me, even movie theatre chairs. I actually have space. Booths are no problem. The real test will be folding chairs in the summer. They were my nightmare. I no longer worry about breaking anything anymore. So nice not to have to think about that.

All of those things are so wonderful but there is something that is even better than all of those combined and that is… I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE SEE ME NOW! I am no longer invisible. This is huge, really huge. The world that I have been living in but never really LIVED in is finally acknowledging me. Men hold doors for me and smile at me. Woman don’t roll their eyes and make snide remarks to me anymore. Children no longer stare and say Fat or Pregnant. I am seen by people, noticed as another human being and not a problem that needs fixing. All the time that I was overweight I never realized how much it hurt me to be invisible until now. It hurts me to recognize the same pain in others and I wish they knew what the other side felt like. I wish they knew that it could be better and that they didn’t have to feel that undescribable pain anymore. It is so true what they say that you get what you give. I leave my home now feeling confident, comfortable in my clothes and proud of who I am becoming. And what I get back is people who see that in me. Acknowledgment and validation from people who too have confidence, are comfortable with themselves and proud of who they are. Recently at the store my husband looked right past me because he was looking for the old me, the obese woman with her head hung low. The new me is the woman who holds her head high and smiles at those around her just waiting for what comes next. I wish I could adequately describe these feelings that I am having now versus the feelings I used to have. I will simply say this it is like I have gone from staticky black and white television to HD technicolor in 3D. Life is better, people are better, the world is better and I feel a heck of a lot better. Two months out and I would never go back. Thank you VSG (verticle sleeve gastrectomy) and Dr. Amson for this gift.

New Year and a whole new Me!!

Welcome to 2016 everyone. What an amazing year this is going to be for all of us. I find a new year to be a lot like fallen snow. Everything looks brand new, like a fresh palette for anything to become what you want it to become. For me this New Year and with my fresh palette I want to really enjoy life. I want to live like I have never lived before. I want to experience new and exciting things, I want to try new adventures, meet new people and cherish the old ones I have known. I want to appreciate myself more and everyone around me, my family, my friends. I want to learn more about my new body and how it functions differently from my old, tired body. I want to physically push myself to uncharted territories. I want to emotionally release old resentments and feelings to make room for the new and exciting experiences yet to come. I want to share my story and more of who I am with others. There is so much I want to give and receive from life this year. So basically I want my palette to become my best masterpiece yet,  filled with all that the world has to offer.

How will I be able to get all of this from my life you ask. My answer to you is to be open to it. We can say we want something but if our heart and soul is not open to it, it will not happen. I feel for myself that this last month of 2015 for me has been so amazing and that I am more open than I have ever been to experiences. Being in each moment with my family and myself has been incredible. Feeling proud of who I am slowly becoming as I shed the old me has been outstanding. Seeing the reactions from those around me as the see me for the first time in a while has blown my mind. I don’t know how many people have said that I am glowing and when I hear those words I really feel it. This is not to be vain or arrogant by no means. It is actually more of a validation to me of how I feel now in my own skin. It’s not the weight loss per say for me, it’s the “hate myself” loss that is being shed and people are recognizing that. My head is no longer where all food thoughts stay and take up room so that there is no room for anything else. It is now the place where good, positive thoughts about myself and my life fill  my heart with pride. This is the first year in so long that I have not had to start on a diet. This is the first year that I have not felt guilty for the year I left behind because of all my bad choices. This is the first year that I have started it proud of my accomplishments, however little or big they may be. This is the first year that I am starting with a smile on my face as I look back and remember how far I have come. This is the first year I am not promising this or that of myself only to fail within  the first or second week. I am not resolving or promising anything this year except to LIVE! To LOVE. To EXPERIENCE. To ENJOY. To BE. As I take one final look back on 2015 I see the 82 lbs I have shed (52 lbs of it in the last two and half months) and I appreciate where I have been. Had I not been where I was I would never be able to enjoy so much where I am now!

Been there, done that, got the “sleeve”!

On Monday, November 23rd of 2015 I went to Royal Jubilee Hospital and had my surgery, a VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy). My surgery was just over an hour long, and I was in recovery for two hours. I walked away with 80% less of my original stomach, four tiny holes and one incision where they pulled my old stomach through the cut in my belly. Yuck but COOL!

I have had surgery before but this time was different. This time as I lay under the big bright lights in the cold room waiting for them to put the needle in my arm so I could go to sleep, all I could think of was my family. My husband, my children, my parents, everyone. What if I didn’t wake up? What if something went wrong? What would my family do without me and me without them? DID I MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE? And then I felt a warm hand softly touch my shoulder and whisper to me “Alicia, I will take good care of you.” Thank you Dr. Amson. And as a tear rolled down my cheek I was asleep and ready to begin my new life.

The next thing I remember was waking up and seeing a clock on the wall ahead of me and I noticed  the time read 4:05pm and I thought oh my Daryl has been waiting for me for a long time. I need to get up, he’s gotta drive back to Nanaimo. And then my eyes closed again. I remember trying so hard to keep them open. But it was like they were glued shut. I remember next waking up at 4:25 PM and saying to the nurse I have to go pee. She said OK I’ll go and get a bedpan. Let’s just say a woman barely awake from surgery, lying down and a bedpan not an easy combination. I did achieve success. Enough said. After all of that I was kind of awake now they said all right time to head up to your room. By the time I got there and settled into my room and met Daryl there it was shortly after 5 PM. My lovely nurse Jordynn came into check to make sure that I was comfortable and she said how you feeling? I have to goo pee again. She said ok I can go get a bed pan or you can walk to the bathroom. I’ll walk I said. She was going to help me and I said I will do it by myself. That was a good first step as it really helped me with healing and getting all the gases in my stomach moving. It was shortly after 6 PM and I remember falling in and out of sleep and finally told Daryl to head home and see our boys. We had left our home at 6:30 AM and he had to drive back from Victoria at 6:30 PM. It was such a long day for him especially just waiting. I spent another full day in the hospital to make sure that I was doing OK, checking my vitals, making  sure that there was no rips, tears or holes in my new stomach pouch. I was able to leave by 10 AM on Wednesday morning and head back home. It was not the easiest of drives from Victoria to home. It was so bumpy and curvy every single movement I could feel. Thank goodness Daryl brought me a pillow that I could hold against my stomach which made it a bit better. It felt good to be home. To see my children and parents, to  sleep in my bed with the warmth of my husband beside me. And my dog. She has been so good. She really checked me over when I got home. And then she knew something was up. Everywhere I was, she was. She made sure I was always ok and taking it slow. Dogs are so amazing. Thank you Nova! I’m so grateful that it all worked out and that I have such an amazing family, friends and life to come home to.

My pain hasn’t been too bad, more uncomfortable. For the first few days it was a lot of gas from the air that they fill your stomach with, a bit of nausea and what feels like a lead ball in your stomach. You feel swollen, sore but not hungry. I could not believe how full that I would feel after a small glass of water sipped so  slowly. I’ve learned to drink and eat very slowly and to pay close attention to my body and how it feels. It’s definitely a new way of living for me. On my 30 day preop liquid diet I lost 32 pounds which was a great to have off for me before the surgery. It helps with the recovery for sure. No wonder people lose weight this way.

I felt so lucky and loved when I got home by all of the words of encouragement and well wishes from family, friends , coworkers of my husband, my doctor and my lovely daycare families. I’m really truly blessed to have you all in my life and you’ll never know how much your words, your time, your thoughts and prayers have  all meant to me. They have  helped me to heal faster I’m sure. I could not have done this without my husband and my parents. They all filled in where I left off with Our Home, my children, meals, errands  all well nursing me back to health. Thank  you so much Mom, Dad and Daryl. I love you all. Now it’s time for me to finish healing and start this new awesome life that I’ve been so blessed to have. This journey towards weight-loss started for me May 2014 and somehow I feel like it actually just started all over again November 23, 2015.

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